


Without Richard

by VirginiasWolf



Category: Death in Paradise
Genre: F/M, I do have plans to potentially include a character that appears later in the series, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but i haven't written her part yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21654388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirginiasWolf/pseuds/VirginiasWolf
Summary: When Richard falls victim to stress-induced amnesia which strips away all recall of his adult life it is up to Camille to help him regain his footing while navigating how to deal with a Richard that is essentially void of everything that makes him Richard.Takes place sometime after season two. The events of 3x01 never happened although they are referenced briefly with the implication that he chose not to attend the reunion.
Relationships: Camille Bordey/Richard Poole
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still working on the series among other things, but this is an idea that started to come to my mind which I thought could be interesting to explore.

Camille is apprehensive as she approaches the beach shack. Richard hasn't shown up at the station and has also failed to answer his phone. She's heard the horror stories from Fidel about what happened when she was away in Paris and he fell ill, so she already has the rest of the team, her mother, and a doctor on standby. Let him call her foolish if it turns out he has just slept in. It is better he be cross with her for a day than for her to find him ill and not be able to help him in time.

  
The moment she enters the kitchen she finds her worst fears realized. From the other room, she can hear full-bodied sobs. She has never heard Richard crying before. When he is mortified he tends to lash out in anger, and she's heard him screaming before, but this is different and it scares her enough that she shoots a quick text alerting her mother to call the doctor before she starts to climb the stairs and calls out for him. "Sir? Sir, it's Camille. Are you okay?"

  
He doesn't answer her, but when she walks around the bed she finds him in a corner curled up in a ball while still wearing his pajamas. For a moment he looks up at the sound of her footsteps, and then he averts his gaze in a way that almost reminds her of a shy child. What strikes her as even stranger is there's no sense of recognition in his eyes when he sees her.

  
Suddenly feeling foolish she asks "Sir, do you know who I am?"

  
She half expects him to yell at her and insist that she shouldn't be so daft because of course he knows who she is, but instead he shakes his head, again childishly timid.

  
At this point she realizes he must have had some sort of head trauma that has reverted him to a childlike mental state and this makes her feel a rising surge of panic, but panic won't help him, so she manages to quell it. The best thing she can do for him is to assess the trauma he's received and keep him calm until help arrives. Carefully she approaches him. "Richard, did you hit your head?"

  
"Where am I?" He shrinks back as she sits down on the floor in front of him, but hearing his name mentioned does cause the nervous look to fade, so at least he hasn't forgotten who he is, although she suspects a good chunk of his life is missing from his mind.

  
It probably will only further confuse him if she tells him about being a detective inspector on a tropical island, so she decides to think quickly. Where is somewhere that child Richard might spend time? "You're at summer camp."

  
The look in his eyes tells her that he doesn't fully believe her lie, but he doesn't bother to question it and instead looks at her with wide imploring eyes as he attempts to wipe away his tears. 

  
There really is something almost sweet about him now, and although it makes her heart ache she can't help but want to protect him too. Without thinking she reaches out to hold him and he falls into her lap easily, like a child nestling against a trusted adult. As he lays on her lap she carefully attempts to examine his head, checking for any signs of trauma and finds no obvious bumps or bruises, but she knows a doctor needs to check him further. For that reason, she also realizes she can't let him fall asleep, and so she talks to him, asking various questions.

  
Before long she hears the sounds of footsteps and her mother's voice calls out, "Camille, is Richard okay?"

  
In her lap, Richard starts to sit up in confusion, but she calms him by rubbing his back and making a shushing noise before responding to her mother's call. "I think he's had some sort of head trauma which has resulted in memory loss."

  
-  
Camille rides in the back of the ambulance with Richard so that she can keep him calm, and as he answers each of the EMTs questions she feels her heart sinking further. As far as she can tell, he is aware that he isn't actually a child because he has seen himself in the mirror, which had been what had set off his sobbing, but he can't actually remember anything that happened to him since he was around seven years old. In other words, she can't help but feel as if his mind regressed to the last period of his life where he was truly happy.

  
She isn't sure if it makes her feel better or worse that Richard in his diminished mental state has designated her as the adult he trusts the most which means she gets to accompany him to the exam room, but she also has to hold herself together to keep from frightening him.

  
After the x-ray and MRI, Camille can't help but watch Richard as he sits on the exam room bed. After his initial shock, he is surprisingly calmer in this state. If this calmness was the result of something normal she would absolutely adore it, but knowing that he could be experiencing a dangerous brain bleed this very moment obviously distresses her. The man may be stubborn, pedantic and irritably English, but she realizes she can no longer deny that she loves him.

  
After several minutes the doctor returns and motions for her to talk with him in the hall. "Normally I wouldn't be able to give you any medical information as you're not the inspector's next of kin, but this is a unique situation, and in his state, I believe you might be able to explain it to him better than I can."

  
Camille tries to keep a straight face although she isn't sure if the doctor simply finds the case odd because a grown man in a respected profession has regressed back to childhood or because there is something that can't easily be fixed. "Did he-did he have an aneurysm?"

  
"The inspector actually perfectly healthy in a physical sense, but I must ask has he been under any unusual stress lately? Does he still typically wear wool suits?"

  
This question throws Camille off for a moment but she tries to think. There had been the class reunion which he had refused to attend, and annual reviews had come up directly after that, and of course he's continued to be obstinately stubborn about wearing his stupid suits, but she's pretty sure even heat stroke doesn't cause someone to forget their entire teenaged and adult life. "I don't understand how any of this is relevant to his condition."

  
"I believe the inspector may be suffering from a rather rare condition called dissociative amnesia. In this case, his condition was not caused by a physical injury, but by a combination of mental stress and overheating. Although this is fortunate in that he is not in any sort of danger, it also is much harder to treat as it could be anywhere from days to years before his memory returns to normal. As he is now, he certainly isn't in any condition to return to active duty or even live on his own. I know this may be a lot to ask, but you and your mother may want to consider putting him up in your guest room at least temporarily."


	2. Chapter 2

She isn't sure exactly how she's supposed to break the news to Richard that he has essentially had a mental breakdown due to stress, or how to break the news to her mother that the Englishman may have to become a temporary roommate of theirs, or even who should get their news first. After a moment she decides to tackle Maman first. The last thing she wants to do is unintentionally lie to a man with the mind of a child about where he will be staying, and perhaps if Richard fights this order then her mother can help her wrangle him.

  
She doesn't want him to be confused about where she is, so she quickly pops her head back into the exam room. "Richard, I am going to talk with the nice woman who called the ambulance, but I would like to talk to you again when I am finished."

  
He nods quietly and now that she knows he isn't secretly dying she does allow the gesture to melt her heart. Here's to hoping that once his full memory returns he does keep this bit of sweetness, at least for her because it will get him everything.

  
Her mother is sitting in the lobby with Dwayne and Fidel, and Commissioner Patterson. When Camille enters the room they all rise from their chairs. More than anything Camille hates keeping her coworkers in the dark, but she also doesn't want to overwhelm Richard with information and people.

  
"Can I talk with Maman alone?"

  
For a moment it looks as if the commissioner will protest, but he simply nods. "I assume you will provide me with a full report on the inspector's condition?"

  
"Sir, I will meet in your office later this afternoon."

  
This appears to be a satisfactory response and the commissioner nods before turning to Dwayne and Fidel. "Officers, I believe the station has been left unattended long enough and Sergeant Bordey, I expect you in my office at 4 PM sharp."

  
Once the others have left Camille begins to brief her mother on what the doctor has said, initially leaving out the suggestion about Richard taking up residence in their guest room. 

  
"I could have told that man that wearing heavy suits in a tropical climate was bad for his health, but men they do not realize things until they act like babies."

  
Camille tries to hide a smile at her mother's comment, after all, it is hardly Richard's fault that he has been reduced to a childlike state of mind. "Maman, Richard didn't choose to lose his memories."

  
"I know ma Cherie, and I am glad the man is not seriously ill, but I hope the doctor does not expect us to allow him to continue to live in that shack while he is in this state. It was shameful enough that I did not put him up under our roof when he caught that fever, but now that he has the memories of a child it would be downright cruel for us not to place him in our spare room."

  
"The doctor actually suggested that we do exactly that."

  
"And what does the patient have to say about this?"

  
"I haven't told him yet. About any of this."

  
Catherine's face twists into shock. "Camille, why are you keeping him in the dark? The man has no recollection of most of his life and he is alone in a strange place and he has put all of his trust in you and you are locking him out of his own treatment."

  
Camille knows her mother isn't intending to make her feel bad, but the point she brings up effectively does so. Because Richard's memories surround such an early period of his life, she has basically assumed that his ability to understand the world would also coincide with how a seven-year-old could understand things. Sure he'd acted that way at first, but he isn't stupid. Although she does feel he has reverted to a basic state in his reactions to the world, she realizes it is probably simply a manifestation of that lovely sweetness that he's always tried to cover up. He has no idea what his relationships to the people around him are so he doesn't want to offend anyone by being rude to them. As for the doctor's insistence that they take him on as a tenant, it likely isn't because he can't perform adult functions but that coming to one's memories again is a deeply traumatic event to deal with on your own. "You're right, I haven't been such a good friend to him, have I?"

  
After a moment she turns to walk back down the hall towards the exam room he is in. This time she vows she'll talk to him in the same way she would in any other situation. Not like a child, but like who he is to her; a boss, a friend and perhaps one day something more. She pushes the last thought aside quickly. Trying to make a move on him now would be completely underhanded of her.

  
She finds him sitting on the bed looking anxiously at his hands, but he looks up when she enters the room. "Am I going to die?"

  
The question takes her aback at first until she realizes the doctor probably hasn't told him anything about his condition yet. "No Richard, you aren't going to die. The doctors don't believe a head injury caused your memory loss. Although it is very rare, there are cases where stress can cause a person to suffer memory loss and this appears to be what happened to you."

  
"Jesus, don't tell me that as an adult I have lost all concept of how to relax."

He looks almost mortified now and Camille barely manages to stifle a giggle. "You are very devoted to your job."

  
"So I'm the neglectful type of boyfriend who doesn't fully appreciate what he has. I'm entirely sorry about that."

  
It takes Camille a second to process that Richard must think they are dating. There's almost a shocking thrill in hearing that he believes this. Perhaps if amnesiac Richard thinks they are a couple then that means that Richard who is at full mental function has some sort of romantic feelings for her. "We're not a couple yet." The last word is meant to be whispered where he can't hear it, but she realizes she has said it at the same volume as the other words when he gives her a funny look.

  
"So one of us has a partner already. I'd assume it's not me because I'd assume she would have shown up by now, so it must be you. The police officer perhaps? The one that isn't wearing a wedding ring?"

  
It takes all of Camille's energy not to burst out laughing once she realizes that Richard assumes she is dating Dwayne. "Oh, Dwayne is definitely not my type. Me and you, we are both single, but we are also both very stubborn." She isn't sure why she is being so open with him, but seeing him like this makes her not want to beat around the bush anymore, and he deserves full honesty from her. She also hopes that her confession will help him remember something, even if it is shock. A selfish part of her is also hoping that perhaps in his state he will unwittingly confess something about how he believes he must feel about her.

  
He doesn't disappoint. "Oh. Well, I assume I must feel something for you because the moment I heard your voice I trusted you even though I have no memory of who you are."

  
"And you should trust me. Richard, the doctor doesn't want you to stay alone until your memories return. Do you want to stay with me and my mother, in the guest room?"

  
Richard shakes his head. "I really don't want to impose myself on you or your home." Again he looks almost childishly shy, but this time she realizes that is just who he is with his walls down. In a way he really is just a little boy who wears a big suit most of the time.

  
"Trust me, not knowing if you are okay would be more stressful to us than having you living with us would be."

  
-  
After leaving the hospital Camille takes Richard back to the shack so that he can pack a travel bag and change out of his pajamas, which is something she notes that fully functioning Richard would already be mortified about. Camille is in the bathroom trying to pack up his toiletry items when suddenly she hears her name called.

  
"Umm Camille, where are my clothes?"

  
Confused Camille pops her head back into the bedroom area while expecting to find Richard looking for his clothing in some strange place that is representative of where the seven-year-old boy in him might have stored the items. Instead, she finds him staring at the open closet filled with his wool suits. Of course she will be convincing him to trade them in for lighter models very soon, but that is an entirely different issue. "Your clothes are right in front of you."

  
He turns to look at her with an almost disturbed expression. "No, I mean where are the clothes I wear when I'm not working, and what kind of job could I possibly have that requires such heavy wool suits. This is a tropical climate, isn't it?"

  
Now Camille does laugh. There is something humorous about how stripped of memories of whatever logic propels him towards his suits even he finds them ridiculous. "You are a detective inspector, and I have only ever seen you wearing pajamas and those suits."

  
Richard shrugs, "Not the career I would have expected to pick for myself, but that still doesn't explain the bloody wool suits on a tropical island. Why are you laughing at me?"

  
Camille steps fully into the room and takes a second to compose herself. "Because we have been trying to get you into lighter suits from the moment you arrived here and you have stubbornly refused."

  
Richard turns away from the closet and sighs. "So tell me Camille, what else am I completely stubborn about?"

  
"Oh, pretty much everything."

  
Camille is being cheeky, but Richard's face immediately falls. "I was kind of hoping that there would be some trait about myself that I would find likable."

  
Now Camille carefully approaches him, hoping he won't shy away from her touch. "Oh Richard, don't say that about yourself. There are plenty of things about you which are likable. You are more intelligent than any other man I've met and you're not the least bit haughty about it. You helped encourage Fidel to take the detective sergeant's exam and sometimes you babysit his daughter." At that moment Harry chooses to scurry into the shack and looks between Camille and Richard. "And you're very kind to this little lizard that lives with you. You've even named him Harry, and I think the only reason you're so damn stubborn is because you feel like a fish out of water here, but I'm glad you are here and I'm not just saying that because you're my boss who also has amnesia."

  
It is only after making this final comment that Camille remembers that Richard doesn't know that he is her boss. "So I'd be taking advantage of you if we were to start a romantic relationship."

  
"Richard, you would not be taking advantage of me," Camille sighs. She is prepared to staunchly defend her point when she happens to look at her watch and check the time. She isn't sure how everything has gone so fast, but there's only an hour until she is supposed to meet with the commissioner and Richard is still in his pajamas. "Let's find you something to wear."

  
Half an hour later Camille drops Richard off at the apartment while on the way to update the commissioner. She can only hope he won't get into too much trouble with her mother before she can get back to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Camille isn't sure what she expects to find when she returns to La Kaz hours later. What she does find is her mother is working behind the bar like usual and Richard nowhere to be found. Part of her hopes that this means he has already remembered himself again and has insisted on going back home.

  
This hope is quickly dashed however when her mother states, "Richard is upstairs. I took him shopping this afternoon for some lighter clothes."

  
"I hope he wasn't too much trouble Maman. You'll have to forgive him for anything he said. Remember he has been under so much stress today." She feels she has to do damage control on Richard's behalf.

  
"Forgive him? Camille, he has done absolutely nothing to irritate me today. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that he has been downright pleasant. Perhaps I should be the one apologizing for wishing that he will never regain his memory if this is the state amnesia puts him in. It really does make you wonder about the things that poor man has suffered in life though." It is as if Catherine senses exactly where her daughter wants to be because she immediately adds, "You should go make sure he is settling in well."

  
The guest room is connected to Camille's bedroom by a shared bathroom and this makes her smile for a moment although she hopes it won't be too awkward for Richard after he starts to regain his memories, especially after that tidbit she'd shared with him during an early flirtation attempt about how she sleeps naked. The objective for this evening, however, is to help him get situated and perhaps cook something for both of them to eat.

  
Camille walks through the bathroom and carefully knocks at the door to Richard's bedroom before hearing a muffled "Come in."

  
She finds Richard folding what she assumes must be some of the new shirts he's bought today. There are no radical patterns which doesn't surprise her, but she does spot some tasteful solid blue short-sleeved shirts that catch her eyes. Here's to hoping she gets a chance to see him wearing them.

  
"You know it's terrifying realizing that I can't remember anything. Not this room. Not you. Not your mother, and the way you keep looking at me tells me there's some big secret you're just trying to keep from telling me about who I am, but I'm not even sure if I want to know what it is, because I've seen the same look on your face and on your mother's. Almost like there are certain parts of my life you hope I forget forever." He pauses and a look of concern washes over his features. "Tell me Camille, did I hurt you in some way."

  
Now the tears that Camille has been holding in for most of the day begin to prick at her eyes. She wants so badly to just keep Richard in the dark about all his trauma, but he'll remember it sooner or later so she might as well lessen the blow. "No, you haven't hurt me, but so many people in your life hurt you that by the time you came to the island you'd practically put an impenetrable brick wall around yourself that you barely let people in to see the real you, and I think this person you've regressed to really does represent the man you really are under all of that hurt and pain, but I know once the memories return you'll get scared again and wall yourself away once more." Once she has finished speaking she rushes forward and embraces him, sobbing into his chest.

  
Richard's fingers slowly stroke her hair, but then suddenly he freezes. "I-I think I remember something. You're on a beach and I believe you were quite sad because of losing someone and I remember handing you something."

  
Camille pulls away just enough to look at him. "You bought me flowers after we'd solved my friend's murder. You were very sweet about it, but it was clear you were completely out of your depth on providing comfort so you just sat down next to me and we watched the sunset together."

  
Richard looks at her cautiously unsure of what to say for a moment and then his body answers for him as his stomach elicits a loud growl.

  
"Richard, when was the last time you ate something?" Camille asks shocked.

  
"I've only had a banana today," he admits.

  
"That won't do at all. Come on. To the kitchen with you."

  
-  
"Richard, stop it!" Camille's sharp yell sounds from the apartment and Catherine freezes on the stairwell. She doesn't want to believe that the Englishman would do anything to harm Camille, but she also isn't going to stand idly by and listen to her only daughter being attacked. Catherine is about to turn and get a knife from the kitchen downstairs when Camille lets out another exclamation. "If you keep opening up the oven door the casserole will never bake!"

  
So Richard has both the memories and the patience of a seven-year-old boy it would seem. Less than a minute later Catherine finds the pair seated at the small kitchen table. Richard is pouting and eating a mango and Camille is just watching him rather adoringly. Here's to hoping that by now she's figured out that she loves the man, otherwise the situation is utterly hopeless.

  
"What are you two up to?" Catherine asks, pretending she hasn't just been eavesdropping.

  
Camille looks up still smiling brilliantly. "I am teaching Richard how to cook a casserole...and how to have patience."

  
"Oh my patience level is just fine," Richard grumbles in response and for a moment Catherine wonders if he's getting a bit of his old self back until he adds. "Sorry, that was very rude of me." 

  
It isn't so much that Catherine dislikes the apology, but there is a certain level of vulnerability it reveals that still feels very scared and desperate and distinctly not very Richard Poole. Wanting to diffuse the mood Catherine responds, "I am going to have to go back down to the bar soon, but perhaps Camille could show you some of our old home movies?" When her daughter groans and buries her face Catherine adds, "There might be something in them that will remind you of your missing years."

  
-  
Hours later Richard finds himself restless in bed. He can't help but feel alarmed by his current mental state. He hates being so devoid of what he feels must be everything that makes him, and yet he is also half terrified of having it all come back to him. If even half of what Camille has said about his past trauma is true then perhaps it is best if he cannot remember it. There is something else that bothers him too. 

  
Another memory is tugging at the edge of his mind. In this one, Camille is jabbing him in the chest and yelling threats of violence at him and he is very afraid although he cannot remember the context of the act or even the exact threats. He had spent so much time worrying that he was an abuser that he hadn't stopped to consider the chance that she might be yet another of the abusive forces he apparently attracts. Of course, she wouldn't outright tell him if she was such, but maybe that's the reason why they aren't a couple. Is he in danger sleeping with her in the next room? Perhaps tomorrow he'll have to confront her on the fact. Of course, she won't admit it then either, but denial is enough of an indicator on its own.

  
Suddenly he hears the sound of the toilet flushing in the shared bathroom. This means that she is awake too. The knob to his door turns and a fresh wave of panic rushes over him as he wonders if he should do something. Anything to keep from being a sitting duck. Unfortunately, he is facing the door and there's no way to even pretend that he is asleep.

  
"You're awake too." A wave of something that he might categorize as relief washes over her face and he decides that she certainly doesn't look evil or abusive.

  
"Can I ask you something? About another memory I've developed?"

  
Camille carefully makes her way across the room and perches on the side of the bed closest to him. "Oh?"

  
"You were-you were screaming at me. Threats of violence I believe, and you were poking me in the chest with your finger."

  
She doesn't try to deny his memory which is a good sign. "That was during the very first case we worked together. At the time you thought I was irresponsible and I thought you were entitled and disrespectful so I pulled you into a room and told you that I could probably beat you in a fistfight and if you didn't respect me I might be forced to forget I was a police officer. I didn't actually intend to fight you, but I wanted you to believe I would." She pauses to pull her robe around herself and he suddenly realizes that she looks incredibly small and fragile in the moonlight filtering through the window.

  
Unsure of how to respond Richard reaches out and places a hand on her arm which she takes as an encouragement to continue.

  
"I don't know why I'm unloading all of this on you, but I...I've had trust issues with the men in my life...my father, he...you don't care about all of this." She suddenly stands up looking as if she is prepared to leave.

  
"Camille, I care because you need someone to talk to."

  
Camille nods and sits down on the bed again, looking deflated. "You know, you're actually a much better listener like this. Can I-can I crawl under the covers with you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, it didn't come up situationally but the reason Richard can't remember the apartment is because he's never been in it before. I was going to have Camille point that out but the conversation took a different turn.


	4. Chapter 4

  
The morning sunlight streams through the window and Camille rubs the sleep out of her eyes as she rolls over. For a second she is confused by the still slumbering form next to her and by the uncharacteristic sleep clothing he is clad in, but then it all comes back to her. 

  
She suddenly feels awkward for unloading so much onto Richard the previous night by crawling into bed with him and telling him all about her problems with her absentee father, but the events of the previous day had left her just as high strung as he must feel and then having Richard assume that she had been abusing him had hit her like a ton of bricks. Yet she'd understood why he might believe so with that contextless image in his mind. So she'd unloaded on him so that he would know that situationally she was just as vulnerable as he was.

  
She'll be going back to work today, but even if by some miracle his memories have already returned the commissioner will want him to stay away from the station for at least a few days. His brain needs the rest.

  
Carefully she nudges him awake. "Richard, I need to go back to my room and get dressed for work. You'll be spending the day helping Maman."

  
Richard rolls over to look at her and groans in annoyance. 

  
"See, you're already starting to act like yourself again. That is exactly how you would react." Camille tries to sound as cheeky as possible as she walks towards the bathroom door.

  
Camille is just finishing getting dressed when her cellphone goes off signaling that a body has been found. 

  
-  
In Richard's absence, Camille is designated the lead officer on the case. Although she takes every effort to be thorough on the scene she can't help but feel that she is missing something that Richard wouldn't and by the time she walks over to La Kaz to get lunch, she is exhausted although she is greeted with a scene that makes her smile.

  
Richard is behind the bar wearing a pair of khaki shorts and one of the blue polo shirts she had noticed yesterday. "So, are you considering a career change?" Camille teases him.

  
"I have a feeling bartender is a not a career I have previously worked," Richard groans in response.

  
"I am sure it is not that bad." Camille can't help but laugh about how much of a fish out of water Richard is. When she realizes he is scowling in response she chooses to comfort him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at you. Have you recalled any more memories?"

  
Richard shrugs. "Nothing that would be terribly easy to confirm. I did, however, have an offer of hypnosis from the commissioner's niece."

  
At this Camille again loses her battle with laughter. She's only met Ruby Patterson a handful of times but this very much does sound like something she would do. "Well, do you think it would have worked?"

  
Richard can only shrug again in response, but Camille can see the distress playing across his features. He's afraid he'll always be like this and she hates watching him feel this way.

  
"I'm sure you won't be like this for much longer. Your mind is brilliant, it isn't shutting down. It is simply telling you that you need to take time to let others care for you. Please let me and Maman take care of you."

  
Richard immediately averts his gaze. "I hardly feel comfortable being a burden."

  
"Come here." Camille motions for Richard to come around to her side of the bar and he looks at her nervously but complies with her request. As soon as he is within her reach she wraps her arms around him feeling his body briefly startle before she looks up at him. "You are never a burden. I want to help you unlock everything that is stored away inside that head of yours."

  
Camille knows she probably shouldn't take this opportunity to steal a kiss, especially not in such a public location and with Richard's mind still frazzled, but she wants him to feel needed and a selfish part of her also needs a way to feel anchored to the man who is locked beneath the barriers that have been put up by his own mind. Carefully enough that she won't startle him she presses her lips to his in a quick, tender gesture.

  
She isn't sure how she expects Richard to react, but when she pulls back he is smiling shyly at her.

  
For a moment there is something so earnestly sweet and honest about his expression, but then somebody clears their throat nearby and Richard spooks and pulls away from her and Camille remembers she is supposed to be returning to the station and working on the murder.

  
-  
Normally Catherine would have immediately approached her daughter when Camille arrived at La Kaz, but this time she holds back. She can see the way Camille's entire body relaxes when she sees Richard. Seeing her only child with someone who can make her feel like that would normally be enough to make any parent happy, but Catherine also can't help but feel for Richard. 

  
The man is very obviously confused and hurting and working in the bar isn't helping him much. Mind you, Catherine hadn't even asked him to do so. Richard had volunteered himself and although Catherine would have been happier to see him just relaxing, she also hadn't felt there was a way to argue with an amnesiac without it weighing on her soul so she had instead shown him how to mix several drinks and allowed him to work behind the bar.

  
Catherine suspects that his memories will be better triggered by going back to a familiar job. After the lunch rush is completed she excuses herself from the bar and slips out for a walk to the commissioner's office. If she's going to get Richard better she has to get him back into the station even if her daughter and the others still have to take on most of the workload for the time being. She's sure Camille won't mind if it means that Richard will return to his normal self sooner.

  
The commissioner is on the phone when Catherine arrives, and Catherine chooses to stand in the doorway impatiently waiting for him to notice her. She isn't an officer so he can't charge her with insubordination for doing so and she has no intention of just waiting patiently.

  
The moment he hangs up the phone she blurts out, "You need to return Inspector Poole to active duty."

  
The commissioner sighs in frustration. "The man needs to rest. It would not reflect well for me to put a man who cannot remember his adult life back on active duty."

  
"I do not care about how well it would reflect on you! Your inspector needs something to stimulate his mind if his memories are to return and tending to my bar does not do that. I am not going to stand by and watch a brilliant mind go to such waste. He refuses to rest anyway, so he should not be standing around trying to fight off locals who are coming up with their own theories on his treatment. Even your own niece is guilty of trying to provide suggestions for how he can recover." The commissioner opens his mouth to argue, but Catherine forges on. "You should also be aware that my daughter is not at her peak job performance with Inspector Poole gone. She is in love with that man and will spend every moment they are apart worrying about his safety."

  
At the last comment, the commissioner does clear his throat and raises an eyebrow. Catherine isn't concerned that she has put Camille's job in danger though. The fraternization rules on Saint Marie are more relaxed, so as long as Camille and Richard are still able to do their jobs they will be free to be romantically involved. Her only concern is getting Richard out of her bar and back where he belongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to put a tag for Ruby because she appears for all of five seconds, but she's one of the newer characters I actually like (okay, I actually like every newer character except Humphrey although I would still trade all of them to just have Richard back) and I kind of feel like her and Richard could have had interesting interactions especially with him being in the less than Richard state he is in during this fanfiction.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this was a hard chapter to write so it took a little longer and then my WiFi was being terrible which also didn't help. I'm torn between making this the final chapter or adding one more where Richard confronts a certain character while said character is in lockup (not named because spoilers) so let me know if you like this as an ending.

Although Richard has been back at his job for almost a week now, he still can't help but feel that perhaps his mind is still half full. Still, that isn't going to prevent him from trying to enjoy himself tonight.

  
From his spot, at a table with Dwayne and Fidel, Richard can hear the shouts coming from outside the bar. Three voices. Camille, her mother, and a male speaker who's identity teases at Richard's still half incomplete memory at least until Dwayne mutters, "Oh geez, it's Camille's father." So this isn't a voice Richard has heard in the past he only hazily remembers, but one from the old home movies Camille had shown him on the first night of his amnesia shortly before she had unloaded on him about how much the man had hurt her.

  
Outside the bar, Catherine yells, "You are not welcome here Marlon!"

  
"You cannot turn me away. I am family, and I would like to see my daughter."

  
Hearing Camille's upset, and surprisingly scared retort of, "Take your hands off of me!" is what causes Richard to rise from his seat. Can't her so-called father see how badly he is hurting her, or does that not matter to him?

  
Stepping out of the bar Richard gets his first look at the man in person. He's naturally much older than he was in the decades-old home movies, and he also makes a pathetic, scraggly, clearly drunk figure. Just another vagabond whom Richard is sure he would throw in lockup except for one detail. The man is grasping at Camille's arm with a tight grip and she looks as if she is about to cry as she tries to pull away. That is not how fathers are supposed to make their daughters feel.

  
"She said she doesn't want to see you." Richard isn't sure where the voice came from, and then he realizes all eyes are now on him and he must be the speaker. 

  
Camille and Catherine are both wearing a mix of surprise and relief, Dwayne looks like he wants to pat Richard on the back, Fidel looks concerned, and Marlon looks enraged.

  
"This ain't your business English boy. I'm here to see my family." Marlon has dropped Camille's arm and is now instead advancing towards Richard. 

  
If Richard had any sense left he would run in the other direction, but it seems as if sense is one of the things that hasn't returned to him yet so instead he stands his ground. How strong can an old drunk be anyway? "They stopped being your family when you chose to abandon them."

  
Unfortunately, Richard gets his answer as to how strong an old drunk can be. Marlon doesn't try to hit him, instead, he grabs Richard by the throat and begins to choke him, and although it must be mere seconds before the other man is pulled off of him, in that time it as if somebody has flipped a switch in Richard's mind and something turns on again. All at once he is suddenly aware that he again remembers everything as he falls to the ground.

  
His head is swimming in a daze, but he is vaguely aware of Dwayne handcuffing a bellowing Marlon. He is also aware of Camille hovering over him, and after Dwayne says something that Richard's brain won't allow him to understand Camille clutches fervently at him and breaks down into sobs.

  
It occurs to Richard that he should be the one demanding comfort, but he also feels that right now Camille needs something to ground her so instead he holds her to his chest and strokes her hair while making soothing shushing noises.

  
Now that his memories have all returned he can remember the pain and anguish he experienced through bullying and he doesn't like seeing someone else hurting like that, especially not someone as strong as Camille. However, as she begins to go quiet he suddenly remembers something else.

  
Shouldn't he be trying to comfort Catherine as well? Then again, he can remember exactly how contentious their relationship has been in the past so maybe it would be best if he doesn't do so. In fact, as he looks up he can see the rage and fire the elder Bordey is looking at her ex-husband with and decides it would be best to stick with calming Camille.

  
Slowly he tries to get to his feet which becomes a struggle due to how Camille is still clinging to him. Eventually, he manages to get both of them into a standing position. "I think we could both use a rest now."

  
Camille nods weakly and continues to cling to him as he ushers her towards the stairs that lead up to the apartment. 

  
At first, Richard isn't sure what to do with this clinginess. He almost likes having her this close, but he also feels like he could possibly be taking advantage if he doesn't tell her of the fresh return of all of his memories. Yet he also doesn't want to make everything about him when she is clearly distressed so he chooses to follow her lead.

  
By this time Camille has calmed down a bit, and she leads him towards the bathroom. "Let's get both of us cleaned up."

  
For the first time, Richard realizes that at some point beer was spilled on him. Perhaps somebody attempted to throw it on Marlon to break up the choking attempt and missed? Luckily Camille has turned away from him when he makes a disgusted face. However, he quickly realizes that by cleaning up she means showering...together.

  
"Camille, what are we doing?"

  
"Showering." She answers him as if she believes she is making the most obvious comment.

  
"And you are sure that this is something you would like to do. With me I mean?"

  
"Yes. Is it not something you would like to do?" 

  
The expression she is wearing tells him that if he were to reject her advances he would risk hurting her, and he suddenly realizes that he doesn't want to reject her anyway. The adrenaline is wearing off now and it hits him full force that he has just spent over a week essentially stripped of his identity only to have it return as a result of a man attempting to kill him. He's not sure if he'd ever admit it out loud, but right now the thing that will most comfort him is physical intimacy with another human being. It doesn't even have to be sexual, just being able to hold Camille while the water slides over their bodies will be enough. He has to save face though as he's spent too much of the past week being weak. "Do you really think I want to smell this badly any longer?"

  
-  
After the shower is completed the pair retreats to the guest bedroom and Camille curls up against Richard's chest. She looks so snug and so peaceful that Richard feels guilty about making the next comment which he is sure will anger her. "I-I think I've gotten all of my memories back."

  
"Oh?" Camille rolls over and props her chin on her hands. "And when did this happen?"

  
"When your father choked me. I should have told you sooner."

  
Camille doesn't turn angry as he expects her too. Instead, she reaches a hand out to stroke his cheek. "Oh, Richard."

  
"You're not upset with me?"

  
For a moment Camille's face crinkles in confusion. "Why would I be upset with you?" Suddenly she bursts out laughing. At first, Richard is confused and alarmed until she manages to calm herself down. "Because of what we just did? Do you think you took advantage of me?"

  
"Well, it was a bit underhanded of me." Richard attempts to shrug but finds his attempt hindered by the weight of Camille's body on top of his. 

  
"Let me spell it out for you. I would have done that with you a lot sooner if I had been given the opportunity. I was not acting solely on emotion."

  
At this Richard can't help but blush a little and feels himself wanting to start to go defensive. He manages to keep himself from going into full upset mode, but he does manage to snort, "Wily French temptress."

  
-  
The morning sun flits through the window and as Richard awakens he is hit with a new realization. Because his memories are returned he no longer has a need to stay with Camille and Catherine, but he also isn't sure if he is ready to go back to the beach shack. 

  
It isn't so much that he doesn't believe he is able to be self-sufficient. He just realizes how lonely it will be having to go from having two human beings to talk to during his off hours to only having a lizard. Yet considering the newest development with Camille he also doesn't want to impose himself on her. Leave it to him to finally have a relationship that actually feels good and ruin it by rushing in too quickly.

  
He must be wearing a particularly tense expression because the moment Camille wakes up she immediately sits up and looks at him with an alarmed expression. "Richard, are you okay?"

  
Might as well be honest with her. She's spent the past few weeks watching him at his weakest so if anybody deserves the truth it is her. "You know I'm dreading going back to living on my own. It feels like it's going to be quite lonely. I don't want to impose myself on you though by asking if I could stay."

  
His response seems to relax her a bit and her body falls back onto the sheets suddenly freed of tension. "You wouldn't be imposing yourself on me. You're going to have to ask Maman though. It is her apartment after all."

  
"Right. Well, perhaps that discussion can wait until this evening then." Richard hopes he doesn't sound as nervous as he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if I got the name of Camille's father wrong...I vaguely remembered hearing it, but I genuinely did not want to have to watch an entire episode of the walking haystack trying to court Camille just to see that one scene where he (Camille's father) showed up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual final chapter. Yay. I've considered doing a sequel about Richard and Camille trying to navigate a new relationship while also living with Catherine, but as of right now I have no general plot for that.

The moment Richard and Camille enter the station Marlon lets out an almost perfectly timed bellow from the cells. "I want to talk to my daughter."

  
In mere seconds Camille goes from smiling to bristling with fear. She doesn't have to say anything for Richard to know how terrified she is. Although he doesn't consider himself an expert in body language he already knows that she is begging him not to force her to talk to Marlon, and of course, he won't.

  
Instead, he immediately turns to Dwayne. "I would like to talk to our prisoner."

  
"Sir, I'm not sure that's such a good idea after what he did to you last night." It appears that Dwayne is immediately going into protective mode even though Richard knows that Camille has already texted him and Fidel about the memory return. It suddenly hits Richard that perhaps he had previously failed to realize how much his team genuinely cares about him even when he is in fair health. 

  
He isn't going to let that deter him though. The fact that Marlon thinks he is just entitled to traumatizing his adult daughter whenever he pleases is enough to make Richard want to take a stand. It seems as if somehow with the return of his memories he has decided that at least if he's going to put a wall around himself again he's going to keep those closest to him inside of it as well.

  
"He's inside a cell Dwayne, I hardly think he'd be able to reach me again."

  
Richard finds Marlon sitting in a corner of the cell. The man is disheveled and clearly hungover and looks even more pathetic than he did the previous night, but the moment Richard walks into the cell area he begins laughing loudly. "I know why you're being so nice to my daughter."

  
Although the statement confuses Richard for a second he tries to keep his cool. "And why is that?"

  
"You want to get into her pants."

  
Richard chooses not to point out to Marlon that if sex with Camille was his ultimate goal, then it is one he's already succeeded at. He really isn't doing this because he hopes to look even better in her eyes though. He's doing this because her and Catherine both deserve to be treated with respect. "I recently suffered from a particularly severe bout of amnesia. The best the doctors can figure is that I simply overworked myself and my brain decided it needed a shutdown. Your daughter was the one who made sure I was able to become my old self again. Without her aid, it is quite probable that I may have walked right into the sea and drowned out of confusion. I actually owe her quite the debt of gratitude, and Catherine too." 

  
By now Marlon is glowering again clearly not appreciating Richard's non-answer, but he doesn't say anything. It is at this exact moment that Richard hears the sound of the station bell chiming. 

  
Normally this would be an incentive for Richard to step back out of the cells to see who exactly has arrived, but he can hear Camille's voice outside. "Maman, what are you doing here?"

  
Catherine's answer comes quickly. "I would like to file charges against your no-good father for property destruction."

  
Property destruction is certainly a good start, but it won't be enough to put Marlon away for any significant amount of time and that means he will be able to get out relatively quickly and go back to harassing Camille. Richard hadn't initially been sure if he wanted to file his own charges for last night's actions, but now he realizes that he could easily make assault with deadly intent stick and that is a charge that will put the man away for a good while. If there is any good to come out of him being attacked, it will be the ability to protect Camille from her father.

  
-  
Oddly the other prospect that Richard plans to face scares him more. He knows this one shouldn't, but if he's completely honest with himself he will admit that Catherine Bordey scares him far more than her no-good ex-husband does. Yet he also has to admit that he has genuine feelings of affection for the woman. Not in the same way he feels for her daughter, mind you, but perhaps she is the mother figure he wishes he could have had, or at the very least a favorite aunt. 

  
He spends most of his lunch period, ironically spent sitting in La Kaz, drafting a plan of what to offer in exchange for hopefully being allowed to continue to occupy the guest bedroom of the Bordey residence. If he doesn't come up with something logical he fears he will be forced to admit to Catherine that he genuinely enjoys her company.

  
After spending far too much time filling out paperwork at the station he finally makes his way to the bar where Camille is already chatting with her mother. He has a sudden feeling that both women are trying to hide something from him.

  
Finally, the tension is broke when Catherine speaks. "You know, I have been thinking of taking on a permenant tenant in the guest room where you have been staying." 

  
Of course, she doesn't want him. She's already plotting exactly how to get rid of him. Why else would she be thinking about renting out that spare room? He can't let her see how crestfallen he suddenly is though. "Oh? I suppose you've already been searching for candidates?"

  
At this, the two women exchange a look that he can't quite decipher. Maybe he isn't quite as good at understanding body language or the minds of women as he fancies himself to have become. After a moment though Catherine turns back to him. "Camille already has someone in mind."

  
"And who would that be?" Richard suddenly realizes he might be trying too hard to sound casual when Camille turns to him with a concerned look as if she expects him to already know who his replacement will be.

  
"Richard, have you lost your memory again?"

  
"No. I genuinely do not have the slightest idea who you think your mother should rent the guest room out to."

  
This causes Camille to sigh almost impatiently. "I'm going to have to spell it out for him, aren't I Maman?"

  
Catherine turns to her daughter suddenly looking solemn and nods. "I'm afraid so Cherie. Even intelligent men can be quite oblivious at times."

  
It takes all of Richard's energy not to remind the two women that he is still within hearing range and didn't take kindly to the insult, but he figures he might as well hear who will be taking his place and sending him back to the beach shack.

  
"Well, he's an intelligent man although he does tend to undervalue himself and he was recently quite ill. I first met him through work, but recently our relationship has become something quite different."

  
It is after the second part that Richard suddenly realizes they aren't trying to kick him out. Catherine has been trying to offer to allow him to rent the room in earnest, and it has gone completely over his head. He isn't sure how he's going to save his pride and admit that he would be more than happy to pay rent if it meant he no longer has to pretend he likes being lonely. He decides he isn't going to be fully mushy, but for now, pride be damned. He's spent too much of today being tense and angry. "You're talking about me, aren't you?"

  
"Did you really think we wanted you to leave so badly that we were already searching for a replacement?"

  
Richard doesn't intend to turn this into something emotional, but the words slip out before he can stop them. "Well, that's usually how people feel about me, and I have been a bit of a nuisance lately." 

  
Before he has time to reflect on his self-pity, Camille steps forward and wraps him in a warm hug. "No Richard, you are not a nuisance. You are not a nuisance, in fact, I believe you've finally found a home."

  
Camille's attempts at comfort are suddenly interrupted by a comment from her mother. "But you are still going to have to pay rent. I would not be a proper businesswoman if I gave family discounts."  
  



End file.
